I wanted to write and tell you just how proud I am of you. You have experienced the loss of a child and I know the pain overtakes you at times but you are brave and courageous. You have walked this journey with grace and strength so far.
I know sometimes it feels like no one understands or ‘gets it’, they are trying but sometimes it just isn’t enough or what you need and that’s ok. Find people who do, there is a community out there who’s been through similar circumstances. It’s like joining a club you wished you never had to but are so thankful to discover. They understand the heartache and the pain and as you share you may just find people close to you have also experienced baby loss they have just never had anyone who ‘gets it’ either to talk to.
Don’t be afraid to feel or share your emotion. This was your baby and no matter how old they were when you lost them they are your child and will always live on as that in your heart. Allow yourself to grieve and process the pain of living without them.
Know that this was not your fault, you are not a failure. Life throws tragedy at us but as you make peace in your heart you will find strength and you will honour your baby in a way that’s right for you. The pain may fade over time but the memory will always be imprinted on your heart. Cuts heal but scars are left as a constant reminder. You can either see it as defeat or as a badge of honour.
There is no right or wrong way to ‘be’, everybody grieves, processes and reacts differently. People will have similar stories but you are unique so own your story and do what feels right for you. I know it’s hard to believe right now as you feel so numb but you will find joy again and you will start to see the world in colour again. Time heals, often slowly but hold onto that hope.
My thoughts and love are with you, know that you are not alone.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Beki is 31, mum to a heaven born baby boy and 3 girls aged 9,8&4. She is the founder of Believe in ME and creates luxury affirmation cards and gifts to support women on their journey.
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I know it’s tough to see your body change before your eyes into one that most likely is further from the idealistic beauty image that is revered by society.
It’s not your fault to feel hate and shame towards your body. We have been bombarded with messages telling us we need to “bounce back” to our pre-baby bod.
Please know that while your body has most certainly changed during and after pregnancy, your body will continue to change. That is the beauty of life. Nothing is static and we get to appreciate life’s ebbs and flows.
As long as you are alive, you have the right to enjoy life as much as anyone else RIGHT NOW, despite how you think your body looks.
Give yourself compassion. Give yourself permission.
Don’t wait for the “perfect” number on the scale to enjoy life. Start RIGHT NOW.
You are worthy of feeling comfortable in your clothes regardless of the number size on the tag. So, give yourself permission to buy new clothes that make you feel good.
You are worthy of going on that family photoshoot RIGHT NOW to capture precious memories with your children. The days do not come back to us and they grow up so fast!
You are worthy of eating the foods you want without feeling guilty every bite of the way.
I understand this can be a HUGE challenge.
Food is supposed to bring us pleasure. Yet because of the fatphobic society we live in, eating has become so complicated. Learn to listen to your body. She tells you what you need. It takes time and practice, and maybe a little help along the way, but it is possible to savor every bite of a donut (like I just did J) and feel satisfied without wanting more… and more… and more.
You are worthy of putting on your swimsuit and ENJOYING your time at the beach or pool RIGHT NOW. When you were younger you didn’t care how you looked in your swimsuit, but as you grew older and were conditioned by society’s definition of beauty, you became hypersensitive about how you look. Give yourself permission to forget about what you look like and pay more attention to enjoying the moment you have right now, because it’s the only one you are guaranteed!
Your body is not an ornament for others to ogle after. She is an instrument to be used for your benefit.
Your body does not determine your worth. If you are alive you are WORTHY enough to ENJOY life. Life is too short. Enjoy it NOW. You are worth it Mama!
Candice Sanchez is a Mom of two, and Founder of Health Crave, a Wellness Coaching company that focuses on empowering busy, depleted Moms to put themselves back on their to-do lists so they can start enjoying life now. You can find here online at the below:
Mama, I see you.
I see that you’re tired, you’re overwhelmed, emotionally spent. You’ve got a tiny baby on your chest that never stops needing you.
I see you.
I’ve been you.
I got out of bed because I had to. I had to be a mother, but more importantly, I WANTED to be a mother. You want to be a mother too. You waited so long to become a mother, to hold your little squishy baby.
I don’t think anyone wakes up in the morning wanting to be depressed. I know you feel the same way most days.
For a year, I kept thinking “it’ll get better when this happens” or “when the baby gets older it’ll get easier then I’ll be happy”.
The expression “the grass is always greener on the other side” is so true for how I felt and sometimes still do feel on a daily basis.
My daily life became a battle, fending off invitations to play from my own children; almost hiding from them, getting continually irritated cause the baby won’t stop crying, waking up every day waiting for nap time, for my husband to get home from work, for the kids to go to bed. All so that I could get up and try to do it all again. It felt so isolating, so mind-numbing.
But, I was good at hiding it. I kept going. I know you’re probably hiding it too. Because you’re feeling guilty or you think you should feel differently so you keep going.
You don’t need to hide it. I know, easier said than done.
With help and support, it gets better. Don’t be afraid to go get what you need. It’ll be so worth it in the end.
I can’t take back what happened. I may eventually let go of the guilt. But I can learn from it and become a better mother despite my struggle with postpartum depression.
You can too. Because I’m not the only one who sees you.
Ayla is a 26-year-old homeschooling mother of three (7, 4 and 2). Ayla lives in Eastern Canada and blogs about her adventures in homeschooling with her husband Greg at Neapolitan Homeschool. (www.neapolitanhomeschool.com)
Did you know there’s a crazy statistic floating around that says on average, by the time your child turns 18, you’ve spent 70% of the ENTIRE time you get with them in your whole life? WHAT?!
Oh, and get this one—there are only 936 Saturdays between a child’s birth and when they turn 18. Seriously?
Though, I guess, as moms we kind of already know this. The time we have with our kids is limited. You feel it every time you buy ANOTHER new pair of shoes because they outgrew the pair from last month. I feel it when they curl up on my lap and realize they fit even less than last time.
I know you want to spend as much time with them as you can because they are precious to you. But you also have dreams and goals and a mission that is something of your own. You started a business for a reason. You want to use your talents, share your passion, help your family have a better life—and be home with them too.
But, right now, it feels like these desires are at complete odds with each other. Am I right? There’s a constant tug of war happening between your home life and your business that makes it all seem too hard to manage.
I remember those days–the ones when you have piles of laundry, a sink full of dishes, and a to do list way too long; and every time you sit down to do one little thing, your kids suddenly need you—NOW!
When I had my first business I thought I was being a terrible mom. I had my kids watching tv for hours (they loved it, I didn’t) Plus I was disorganized, so I never knew EXACTLY what I needed to be doing. Which meant what little time I had was wasted in “busy work” and not on anything important. And even worse, I was trying to do All. The. Things.
To make matters worse, I never felt present doing what I was doing.
When I was with my family, I felt like I should be working on my business—how else was it supposed to grow? But, then when I worked on my business, I either felt like I needed to be with my family or it was so late at night my brain had stopped functioning and I didn’t get anything important done anyway.
I’ll never forget the beautiful spring day in May when I looked down at my phone, just about time for school pick up, and saw a message from my daughter’s friend’s mom saying she was at the school and wondered if K could come home with her for a play date.
I was confused, because she sent it more than an hour before school got out.
Then it hit me.
It was the Mother’s Day celebration at school and I had missed it!
Why? Because I’d been busy, and I hadn’t put it on my calendar. I was trying to run a business, and my family, and maintain relationships, and do all. the. things. And important things were forgotten.
When I got to the school my daughter didn’t even cry. But I did. I was a blubbery mess of apology. She comforted me, even though I know she was really disappointed.
I determined right then that it was never going to happen again. I was tired of feeling like I was failing by letting my family down because of my business.
But I was also conflicted, because I didn’t want to let my business down because of my family. If you’ve ever felt like this, the answer is not shut down your business or let it die. The answer is to grow and thrive like the entrepreneur you have always been meant to be.
I want to share with you a few ways to do it so it doesn’t take you as long to get there as it’s taken me.
First, remember to rely on your strengths. What are you good at? What can you do to move forward? Where do you still need to grow?
Then decide what you really want and what is most important to you now. Everything has a season and a place. You can’t do everything in the world, but you can do all that’s important to you.
Remember—everything will be ok, and those expectations you think are coming from everyone else, are usually coming from yourself.
Realize who you are! You are a strong, capable, powerful, intelligent woman. Sometimes she gets lost. Find her within yourself. Believe in her like you would your best friend, because she needs you!
Use your resources wisely—financial, physical, emotional, spiritual. You only have so much. Use them in the best way for you.
Plan for the future. What do you want next? What are your dreams? Focus on them and plan how you’re going to get there, because without a map or idea of what you want, you can never get there.
Mothering is hard. Being an entrepreneur is hard. Together it can seem impossible. But you can do it. Because the world needs you and your unique talents.
You got this!
Kirsten Reeder is a coach for mom entrepreneurs, who helps moms eliminate the stress and overwhelm of day-to-day life so they can be the awesome mom they want to be–AND grow their business too. As a mother of three, Kirsten started coaching because learned the hard way that being a mom and a running a business have to work together. Today Kirsten offers a wide range of programs and services from group coaching to workshops and speeches. To contact Kirsten, please visit her website, http://www.vibrantmomsociety.com or email her firstname.lastname@example.org
There is a quote by Anne Christian Buchanan and Debra K. Kingsport, in the Quickening Heart: A Journal for Expectant Mothers, that says, “To be pregnant is to be vitally alive, thoroughly woman, and distressingly inhabited. Soul and spirit are stretched – along with body – making pregnancy a time of transition, growth, and profound beginnings”, that adequately describes my pregnancy journey.
My pregnancy was a beautiful experience, mostly. Take away the hemorrhoids and we have an amazing life changing event. According to my Dr. I was built for having babies because it was textbook perfect. After nine months of pregnancy glow and delights, my precious bundle arrived and my world changed.
I was told that every pregnancy is different, every women’s journey unique. I was told that after the 9 months, life will change and you will know a love unlike any other. What I was not told, was that I would end up having the greatest internal war and the most severe mental anguish of my life. I was not told I would have to war to maintain this “love unlike any other”. I was not told that, that love would war with a desire to hurt the one I love. They did not tell me that I would be pitched into a deep dark place where I battled for any glimmer of light and even when the light came, I struggled to step into that light and battled to stay there if I managed to make the step. They did not tell me that the I, extroverted as I was, would seek out seclusion and the dark. That images of me throwing the little bundle I loved to the wall will haunt me and I would be battling for my sanity and her life. They did not tell me that I was a high risk for postpartum depression because I had suffered depression before.
As I let my thoughts drift back in time I still remember sitting on the floor at 2 am praying to God to make the horrible flashes in my mind stop and to help me control my emotions. I remember loud , body shaking sobs echoing in the night as tears streamed uncontrollably down my face as I cried to God, telling him that I could not do it. The worst of it, I suffered in silence because I was suppose to be overjoyed and love this little being unconditionally. I was supposed to be her champion and protector. But there I was failing at what I was told would be natural, and failing in my efforts to hold onto to the initial love I felt when I found out I was pregnant.
It was a lonely, horrible place. I felt like a horrible person.
How did I not let the darkness swallow me? Honestly, lots of prayer. These feeling were beyond me and so I prayed fervently and passionately. There were days it was all I managed to do.
I conditioned my mind before and during the pregnancy to have the best motherhood experience ever and to give my baby the best environment for growth. But there I was fighting to connect to that mindset and the person I was before the baby. That mindset was a major tool in helping me to keep my sanity. My success was measured by how many times in the day I did not slump into despair. I knew mindset had power, but I did not know it had that kind of power. When I failed and sunk into my depressed state, my conditioned mind fought for me, pushing through the dark with a glimmer of hope; telling me tomorrow will be better and we will try again. Many nights that was my comforting thought as I drifted into restless sleep. You see, I really wanted to do right by my daughter and give her the best possible chance.
I forced myself to learn to recognize triggers. For example, her crying was a major trigger. It made me cover my ears and want to retreat to a corner. Which I did many, many times for a few seconds. But I pulled on an internal and spiritual strength and made every conscious effort to go to her instead of backing away. I needed her to be quiet as soon as possible and so I knew I needed to a take care of her needs. Her crying was a trigger. I had to learn to recognize what triggered bouts of depression and overwhelm so I could prepare myself beforehand on how I could handle it. Love made me desperate to be my best self and the desire to protect her spurred me on and kept me from hurting her.
It was a constant moment by moment battle to not succumb.
I realized that I needed help in several ways. I accepted help from genuine folks. It honestly takes a village and so I had my village before she got here and learned to turn to them. Support is critical, during these times. Your support system may not understand but they love you and baby, so they will help you figure out what you need. Good support gives you space when you need it and nudge you with love when you need that too. Find your support system and cling to it because your life may depend on it.
My husband, my mom and a couple of friends and family came through for me. My husband read everything he could on depression after a baby and depression in general and he tried his best.
Get help if you need it. If the feelings and thoughts are lingering and growing in intensity, get help. I didn’t want to miss out on anything with my baby and I hated the feelings I had and the helplessness I felt, so I decided to get help. I went to my Dr. and he did an initial assessment. He put me on birth control for a short while to help get my hormones on an even scale. He gave me some advice on resting, eating properly and talking about how I felt to people who cared and said if it didn’t help we would then have me see a specialist.
A couple of months on the pill, a husband, mother, family members and select friends with listening ears and caring hearts and things started settling out. Eventually, finding my happy space was not so much of a struggle. Consequently, I got to the place where I was happy to face my days.
Do I still struggle some days? Yes
But I am not falling into random depression and fighting images of hurting my daughter anymore.
Motherhood will throw a million things at you. Mindset will matter a great deal in the type of outcome you have. Take care of you and give yourself what you need. That is how you can then give the best of yourself to others, especially your baby.
Know your goals as a mother and no matter what comes or how many times you get knocked down get up and fight one more time to achieve them. You will be happy and so will your baby.
May the amazing, positive, life transforming light of motherhood light your path and may God, the creator of life bless you with the best of this amazing gift of life He has allowed you to carry and care for.
Your support, hand-holder , shoulder to cry on, I need to vent listener and friend
Belkis Clarke-Mitcham is a motivational speaker and spiritual life coach who helps women over 25 who have lived through trauma to identify their prisons, break free, and unleash their unique light. A survivor of sexual abuse, Belkis has risen from a place of attempted suicide to success. In more than a decade she has helped many individuals. She can be reached at www.belkisclarke.com
To the Mom who’s Lost a Child.
It was the sheer amount of blood that took her breath away.
She knew right away that her baby was gone, yet it didn’t quite register. It was just the bright red blood, pouring down the drain as she showered. The blood that spattered over the floor, the toilet, the walls… she put one hand against the wall of the shower and numbly, almost detached, watched the bright red swirls go down the drain.
She lay exhausted on the bed, uncaring, and fell asleep. Waking only to change the towel under her body, and sleeping again. So much blood.
Miscarriage is a devastating loss.
But one that isn’t spoken out loud. How do you describe missing someone you’ve never met? How do you grieve a possibility?
It was the silence after the beeping that shook her.
She knew right away that her baby was gone, yet it didn’t quite register. It was just quiet. The monitors, the machines, were silent. She stood there, unsure of what to do next. Someone touched her arm, her back, but she barely felt it. It was so quiet.
She lay exhausted, on the bed, dry-eyed. The quietness was so loud, she couldn’t sleep. She couldn’t move. So quiet.
A stillborn child, or child that dies shortly after birth is a crushing loss.
But one that is rarely publicized. How can you share the sound of the quiet, when there should be noise? How do you grieve something so wrong?
Mothers shouldn’t bury their children.
We don’t know what to say to a mom who has lost a child. What can you say?
It’s not your fault.
It feels like it is, right? Your body couldn’t support that baby, or you did something wrong to cause this.
You failed. Right?
It’s not your fault. It’s a quirk of the genetics, it was chance.
You’re allowed to cry.
There’s no shame in missing someone you never met, never got to meet, or only knew for a few minutes. They were a part of you. They are a part of you. You’re allowed to grieve.
Don’t listen to the well-meaning cliché, “You’ll have another baby.”
There’s no timeline on how long you get to grieve. And while you may have another baby, this one is important too. You may have only been a few weeks into your pregnancy, but that is your child. You’re allowed to grieve that loss.
You can sit there and be sad and think about your babies.
Everyone grieves differently. If you want to sit and miss them, it’s ok. You can do that.
If you want to go out and talk about them, find a friend willing to listen, and talk about them.
If you don’t want to talk about it at all, that’s ok too.
Maybe if more of us talked about our losses, we wouldn’t feel ashamed or scared.
You aren’t alone.
We all know the statistic – one in four women experience miscarriage. Chances are, you know someone who has miscarried, and just hasn’t said so. It’s not an easy topic to bring up. You may not be ready to bring it up. That’s ok. Just know you aren’t alone.
Just because you’ve lost a child doesn’t mean you aren’t a mother.
If you’ve miscarried your baby, and you don’t have any other children, you’re still a mother.
If you’ve lost a child to birth defect, disease, or accident, you’re still a mother. That child is yours.
If you’ve got 2 other children, and lost a child, you are a mother of 3. Or however many you have.
Your loss doesn’t negate the existence of that child. They are a real person, and you are a real mother.
Your loss is real.
And it’s ok to dislike being around other pregnant women.
If all you see around you are reminders of what you’ve lost, it’s ok to not like that! It’s normal. It’s natural! Don’t feel guilty for it. Politely excuse yourself, when it’s too much to handle.
Dear grieving mother, there’s no one right way to deal with your loss. There’s no timeline on it either.
It’s ok. You may never be the same again, and that’s ok too.
To the mom who’s lost a child… there are no words I can write that will make it better.
But I see you, I hear you, I feel you. I understand.
Sarah Wall is a single, homeschooling mom of 6 in southwestern Ontario, Canada. She works from home as a virtual assistant, running her own business, XeraSupport. You can read her personal blog at RaisingRoyalty.ca
My heart is broken for your loss, I know now you sit alone with an empty womb, leaking breast and body that is healing after birth but has no idea that you came home with no baby in your arms. You find yourself full of anger, anguish and questions. Questioning why did God allow this pain, you wouldn’t even wish this tragedy on your own worse enemy. Its ok sister, go ahead and feel every emotion, cry a river, your feelings are valid. In order to heal you need to accept those feelings and let them go. Yes, it takes time and you may think, but when will it get better? I don’t have that answer for you but time does heal. Through this pain you will find strength, resilience and a life lesson will be learned through this loss.
11 years ago I experienced a loss, I was only 23 weeks pregnant with my first-born Autumn Sky. I was a happy first time mother just waiting for the arrival of my baby girl in September of 2007. But all that changed so quickly I went from a routine check up at the doctor’s office to sitting in a cold hospital bed in labor & delivery with an infection and in labor. That experience was honestly a blur as if my coping mechanism wasn’t allowing me to remember every single detail up until I pushed my premature baby out at that time into a colorless & sad world. I remember being so scared to even look at her, my husband, fiancé at the time cried out and said, “I don’t want my baby to die”, my already broken heart just broke some more and part of me died that morning. They wrapped Autumn in a blanket after they assessed her and handed her to me, her red, thin & translucent skin startled me, her eyes were still fused shut. But then I saw the beauty that she had, her head full of black hair, all her little toes & fingers, her little nose and her beautiful long lashes. She moved her legs and arms around as if she was still in my womb.
The pastor of the hospital came soon after as her duty to provide support for grieving parents. She insisted that we take pictures of Autumn and as a family, that one day we will cherish those moments since we were so against to do so. Why take pictures of such a painful moment I recall thinking? The pastor handed us a keepsake box made by a church volunteer along with grieving parents pamphlets, the box was the shape of a heart with a white flower on the lid and it contained a little white dress with colorful trimming for Autumn to wear. And I tell you what she looked absolutely beautiful in her dress; we then took pictures of her and as a family as we cherished those last and only moments of her being alive. As expected Autumn passed away an hour after her birth that morning in her white dress. The pastor then took her in her arms, returned the dress to us for a keepsake and took Autumn away from the room once we said our forever goodbyes in this physical world and that was the last time I saw my baby girl.
I too went home empty handed and with a broken heart I felt dead inside. How was I going to come back from all of this in once piece? Well sister it took time, it took prayer, it took tears and a lot of emotional healing but I finally accepted her death. There are days that I question the what if’s? Since now thanks to medical advancement and training there are premature babies being born as early as 22 weeks and given a chance of survival and they make it and are walking miracles. Autumn is not here with me but because of her I have her siblings, because of her I’m able to share our story and bring awareness about Incompetent Cervix and pregnancy loss. If we can help someone as you through your pain and bring support that is enough for me. Time heals and your baby would always be part of you, as you are part of them.
This post was written by Jessica Caldwell
I am writing this note from a mother to a mother. I want to first congratulate you for all your accomplishments to date. You made it to motherhood and you have yet to show for more in this life. As young girls we have big dreams; a thriving career, independence, finding prince charming and becoming a mother. Huge congratulations for successfully going through all these transitions. But where do we go after motherhood? Little do we anticipate though how hard it is when transitioning from career woman, to wife and then to a mother. In this process we lose sight of who we really are because of roles and responsibilities. Now that we are mothers, we have this deep desire to be more and do more, yet we let guilt and self-doubt sabotage our potential for success.
Every woman is expected to marry and raise a family because this is what we are taught to seek by norms of society. When a woman achieves this goal, the process of changes that occur triggers what I view as an ‘identity crisis.’ Once married, we are expected to be a mother, nurturer, housekeeper, teacher, doctor, and chauffeur. Whilst all these roles are essential parts of our life (and we must embrace it) we get so caught up with responsibilities that we have no time to pursue our own goals and desires. We would feel guilty to even think about ourselves because we cannot eliminate the unwanted obligations to please others, especially our families.
As soon as we become responsible for our little bundles of joy, the landscape of our world changes. We are blessed with children who we connect and play with. However, most mothers lose their mojo and stop taking care of themselves as baby brain sets in and we have a low self-esteem. Maybe you can relate? I understand that bearing children is expected in today’s society, because nurturing and child care are viewed as feminine traits. While there is nothing wrong with this idea, it causes confusion between WHO WE ARE and WHAT WE DO. Our life becomes an extension of our children’s life. We hear too often ‘are you going back to work’ or ‘you should be at home because children need their mothers.’ You may have heard more.
You must take care of your children but don’t be discouraged from putting yourself first. Fill your cup with joy and fulfilment and then pour it into theirs. You are not always expected to put your family’s best interest in mind. Ask yourself are you really happy? Remember that you are Gods beautiful creation and that you are a HUMAN BEING with feelings. If you don’t put yourself as a priority you don’t thrive. I am not focusing on salt baths and spa days here – self-care is a non-negotiable task that should be in your schedule. Have you been resisting your ambition to build a life and business you love? I want you to know that if you have a desire to follow your passions and aspire to become an entrepreneur then don’t let guilt and self-doubt dictate your decision not to. I believe that as women we can successfully combine family, career and time for ourselves in a harmonious way. As a mother you serve as a role model for your children and other women to find your personal and professional purpose. The world needs more people who feel alive. You do not need to be validated by other people. Do what feels right and not what is popular and easy. Listen to your intuition. So many mothers don’t have the courage and confidence to pursue their passions because they fear others will disapprove, make them feel the guilt, judge or reject them. As a result they subtly bring themselves down to fit the norms of what a mother ‘should be.’ I understand I get judged for my beliefs and actions but this is part of my journey. I just get more determined to prove myself right. I let go of people’s opinions because the opinions of others is just a judgement of their own character.
Don’t lose touch with who YOU are. Don’t run away from those feelings and mask yourself to maintain your family because when you do the thing that sets your soul on fire you will illuminate a joyful space for your children to thrive. Don’t be imprisoned by the roles you have to play. I understand that this imprisonment wouldn’t be self-imposed if it weren’t for society’s pressure to fit into the traditional female mould. If you continue to mask your desires and feelings you will only become an empty and hollow image of a mother instead of living a breathing person with feelings and mind of her own. Your heart, skill and talent are needed in this world and your children’s life. Allow yourself to release fear of judgement!
Do you know so far in my journey into entrepreneurship I am a happier mother to my children. I am embracing the fact that every aspect of my life is changing. I learned to reflect on past experiences, grow, refocus and rebalance everything. I found new ways to feel fulfilment in my health, family life, personal and professional life. My priorities are my children and my wellbeing, so I am discovering new ways to balance, not shift, my priorities. My work schedule is set to work around them and I leverage the flexibility I have to be able to spend time with them. I have eliminated any guilt as I do not use them as an excuse but the reason why I do what I love to do. Becoming an entrepreneur means we can teach our children about passion, living their purpose and self-suffiency. Don’t ask them what they want to be when they grow up. Ask them what makes them feel happy and how they would like to help people. If you have a daughter, you can hold yourself accountable for the example you set for your daughter. You have the opportunity to inspire her to go after her goals. She needs your enthusiasm, belief and persistence to be successful in whatever she wants to achieve. Being a mother and an entrepreneur is a huge blessing – you are able to do the thing you are passionate about while also having a fruitful relationship with your child and family. Embrace to journey and focus on the process because life is not about awards and the finish line but it’s all about the journey.
Starting a business is difficult, especially as a mummy. You will have new challenges every day! I am going to be honest. Being a wife and a mother trying to manage everything, achieve balance and do a great job in every aspect of my life is nearly impossible! There is no such thing as perfectionism and work life balance (the latter is a myth). I can’t tell you how many times I forgot to take my daughter to a birthday party, sign up for her clubs, attend school workshops. Life as a mumpreneur does not have to be an imbalance of financial success, happiness, fitness or family life. It just takes a shift in mindset and skillset. Work a plan that works for you. It’s all about managing time in terms of energy. Stay focused on your why and the heart based reasons as to why you are on this journey. Your goals are their goals – the travels, the home, the journey overall is fun to work towards.
Design the life you love – one that is meaningful work and an abundance of quality time with your children. You are teaching them how to express their unique greatness and make a positive impact on the world. You can juggle it all but it’s important to ensure you give energy to your time and tasks that are of value. There is never a perfect time to start a family or business. You won’t know how to do it until you actually do it. But this is the beauty of the mumpreneur journey. You have to start to be great, not great to get started. You are winning because entrepreneurship will bring fulfilment in all areas of your life as you grow. You can achieve the best of both worlds; a great career, and a rewarding role of a mother.
Start valuing yourself and watch your health improve. You take more care of what you eat, who you listen to, who is influencing you, and most importantly how you talk to yourself. No one is perfect. Learn to let go of negative thoughts and learn to love yourself with flaws.
Hi, my name is Nadia Ahmed and I am so passionate about personal growth, personal empowerment and helping other women be a better version of themselves. I am married with two gorgeous children, boy and girl, who I connect with, laugh with and play with every day.
I completed a Master’s Degree in Pharmacy and had a thriving career in the community sector for over 10 years. As I became a mother my priorities changed (as for many new mummies). I felt overwhelmed when transitioning from being the ambitious career woman to taking care of my babies. As much I loved my little bundles of joy I was gradually losing myself to post-natal depression and other personal challenges. But this was the pivotal moment for me. I was driven to a path of self-discovery that raised my awareness to all that was possible for my life and my family. I resorted to self-help books, attended seminars, listened to podcasts, learned and implemented. The contents of these resources resonated with me deeply and something shifted inside me. It was only when I invested on a Coach I saw positive changes. I decided to live my life by design.
I am now dedicated coach helping other ambitious women by sharing the same practices and principles that have helped me evolve and finally create a life I did not need escaping from. I am still evolving, working on my personal growth as well as coaching others. I don’t teach theories but instead by sharing true life turnaround moments that marked my own transformation. There are no limits to what any woman can achieve. If you have been in a constant motion of emotion in any or all areas of your life, ask yourself what steps do you need to take to see the positive changes? Do you need to make a courageous decision? Invest on your personal growth? What would happen if you did nothing? Be fearless in the pursuit of your passions.
I wish you a life of joy and fulfilment
Empowerment Coach for Asian Women
You are growing your beautiful baby and it’s tough.
Those 9 months, 40 weeks counting down till you meet your gorgeous baby.
You’ll be given so much advice and people will tell you their stories, some will be negative and some positive.
It’s important to remind yourself that you don’t have to hear the negative.
Birth can be a beautiful empowering experience. Birth can take a route which you didn’t plan for.
What you need to remember though is that you are strong, you are capable and you can birth your baby is whatever direction birth takes.
Your body is strong and you can do it.
The calmer, more positive and more focused you are the more you will relax during birth.
Remember to breathe, how you breathe will help you too. Focus on positive birth stories, focus on what will keep you calm and focus on how you would like your birth to be.
Mama, remember you are strong, you have got this and you can do it! Your body is amazing and it will help you birth your baby if you let it.
Emma is a 27 year old mum to her daughter Isabella, born in December last year. Emma lives in Lancashire with her husband, daughter and two fur babies Pippin and Luna and is the designer and creator of Isabella and Us.